Drew Sidora is trying to look toward her future while having to relive her past.

TheReal Housewives of Atlanta star, 38, filed for divorce from her husband of nine years, Ralph Pittman, 40, in March, the now-estranged couple appearing to race to the courthouse to file first (Drew's petition made it in an hour before Ralph's did). Bravo cameras went back up to capture the aftermath for season 15 of the reality show, which previously wrapped filming earlier in the year and largely captured what appeared to be a happier time for Drew and Ralph's marriage. 

"You definitely don't see everything," Drew tells ET of what led to her decision to divorce. "The cameras catch bits and pieces of our lives, but I think the viewers have seen enough to know what I've had to endure throughout the years, and I can only take so much. As human beings, we can only take so much, and we really just hit a breaking point and enough was enough."  

Viewers have seen more bad than good times for the couple; Drew's first season (season 13) saw Ralph go missing, with Drew later discovering he took a secret trip down to Florida, the details of which remain murky and led to much speculation that Ralph cheated on the Step Up actress. She describes him as a "serial cheater" in court docs, and accuses her ex of "cruel treatment" and removing a large sum of money from her personal bank account. Ralph has yet to publicly respond to any of the allegations, though he did release a statement apologizing for his part in their split.

"Definitely one thing after another," Drew offers of what pushed her to end her marriage. "There was a multitude of things, and I believe that when someone is not able to see those mistakes as an opportunity to take ownership and to work on healing and growth in a marriage, it can be the destruction of you. So, it was definitely a culmination of a lot of things and I definitely reached a breaking point."

"My prayer is that we can be great co-parents in the future and find our way back to friendship," she adds, "and more positive interactions, for sure."

The divorce doesn't play out until the tail end of season 15, which won't air for months. She says she and Ralph currently only communicate about their kids, Machai, 8, and Aniya, 5. Drew also has an older son, Josiah, 12, from a previous relationship, whom Ralph never adopted (though he did write a book on step-parenting). 

"This for sure has been the toughest season for me," she admits. "Even before it started, I'm very much anticipating what I know is going to happen. So, you know, watching it back, some days I'm laughing, because it really was some good times that we shared, because at the end of the day there was real, true love there, we were married for nine years."

"I'm like, that's the person I fell in love with. That's why we've been married for so long. I know that there's things coming out, and that is the reason why we are in a place that we are now," Drew says. "So it's always bittersweet; it's a lot harder for me to watch, I'm not going to lie. It's a lot harder for me to watch, because I'm constantly asking myself, how did we get in this place? Why did we get in this place? Why couldn't we have fixed it? So yeah, it's hard and I am pushing through, I'm pushing through. I just try to get through my days, win my days. Some good, some not so good."

Drew's turned to music to help her process her pain, calling her recording studio sessions "therapy." Much of her season 15 story has centered on her living out her dreams as a recording artist, though she was working in partnership with Ralph on an album. She's seemingly scrapped their joint project -- save for the previously released single "Already Know" and its accompanying video -- in favor of all-new material, which will fill in gaps RHOA won't answer about Drew's marital demise.

"Some days I can get through the record and recording it, and some days I'm like, I gotta go home, you know?" she shares. "But I think people will really be able to connect and understand my emotions at that time, so that is where I part my heart into. I'm excited because my first single will be coming out, actually, later this fall and it's called 'Throw Us Away,' and it is really expressing all the questions I have about my relationship. Like, why would you want to throw us away? We had so much to offer, and so many great things for our children. So, it's really reflective of that. I'm excited for that chapter, and I think that's what I keep focusing on is just putting myself first, not being afraid to go after my dreams at this point in my life." 

Drew gets choked up when ET asks what she wishes to claim for herself in this next chapter of her life, taking a pause to wipe away tears before sharing what she's manifesting: "I want to claim peace. I want to claim happiness for my children. I want to claim all my dreams and the things as a little girl that I wanted to accomplish for me to continue to go after those." 

Joining theReal Housewives franchise has certainly helped Drew get closer to those dreams. She says she has five movies set for release before year's end, a factoid she drops while clapping back at co-star Marlo Hampson, who described Drew as a "deranged wannabe actress" after a phone call fight that played out on Sunday night's episode.

"It's playing is what it's giving," Drew says of Marlo's behavior so far in season 15.  "It was giving forced a lot of times. I'm like, we're in episode six and we're dragging at this point."

"I'd like to see Marlo in a movie," she quips. "While she's throwing around shots, does she having any coming out? Because last time I checked, I have five movies dropping this year."

Marlo has sparked drama with roughly half the cast this year, after bringing up the 2020 death of her nephew, who previously worked at one of co-star Kandi Burruss' restaurants. Now, years later, Marlo is voicing her frustration with Kandi for not being more involved in mourning the man, despite the fact that they discussed his death on more than one occasion and Kandi offered her condolences at the time. Drew can't figure out a motive for Marlo bringing it all back up other than to create a storyline. 

"I feel like, as we see Marlo going to counseling, I really feel like there's unresolved trauma that she's not really dealing with," she surmises. "We're not getting the real, authentic Marlo. Like, we're all waiting to see the real Marlo. I want to see, does Marlo have talents? Does Marlo have businesses? What's going on in Marlo's life? I think she's really forcing storyline on the backs of other people that are giving their authentic self, and really opening up to the cameras and I just... I don't get that from her. I don't get sincerity, you know? I just get everything is a show, a Marlo moment." 

Drew confesses, she doesn't see Kandi forgiving Marlo for any of this. "I always hope, as a group, we can come together at some point, but we're very divided right now," she admits. 

"I had a conversation with Kandi recently and we were talking about that exactly," she says. "Some of us have tried to build deeper relationships and connections ... and I think, with some of the ladies, they're just there for the cameras. When the cameras go up, they're like, what are we doing now? So it's interesting when they say I'm 'the actress.'"

"I'm here being my authentic self," she fires back. "You've seen me come on with a boot on my foot, you've seen me rupture my Achilles, y'all seen me right after anesthesia, after surgery -- you've seen my ups and downs in my marriage, like, I really open up."

Fans seem to want more "real," too, with social media flooded with criticism week after week, calling for a shakeup or even a reboot. 

"I am here for a shakeup, period," Drew joins in. "Where is my girl P?"

P would be Porsha Williams, a fan-favorite Housewife who exited the series at the end of season 13. She's since returned to the Bravo-verse for a season of Ultimate Girls Trip on Peacock. 

"'Til this day, Porsha and I keep in touch," Drew notes. "I miss her fun energy. Like, I'm naturally somebody that likes to have fun. I like to laugh, I'm a fun girl, and I feel like at times I don't have that energy. So of course I would love for her to come back, and I think even with what I'm dealing with in my personal life and my marriage and the process that I'm going through, I would love to have a conversation with Kim Zolciak, you know?"

The OG peach-holder is locked in a divorce battle of her own, a game of he said, she said with her soon-to-be-ex, Kroy Biermann, playing out in court filings week after week. 

"She's another woman dealing with something very similar, so I'll always look for connections and people that I can actually connect with," Drew continues. "I would love for some of the OGs to come back."

Well, Drew gets her wish... kind of, as Kim and a couple other season 1 stars, Lisa Wu and DeShawn Snow, make a guest appearance on next week's episode. The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Bravo.

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