Bobby Heenan revolutionized the wrestling industry in quite a few different ways. Fans of the 80s and 90s fell in love with his commentary style. Heenan typically played the heel role delivering hilarious lines making fun of the faces and defending the heels. The managing run of Heenan placed him in a more physical role interfering outside of the ring helping his wrestlers. His charisma made him one of the beloved wrestling icons when looking back at his career.

We will look at the better lines to come from Heenan on television. The best one-liners will be examined with the entertainment value making them stand out. Heenan found success in both WWE and WCW to add to the overall presentation of the shows Find out just which comments from The Brain are the ones that stand the test of time. These are the top ten funniest quotes from Bobby Heenan.

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10 “I’m a legend in this sport. If you don’t believe me, ask me.”

The arrogance of Bobby Heenan’s character made him a tremendous heel whether he was wrestling, managing or providing commentary. Heenan always boasted his own ego with quotes like this one. Everyone knew Heenan was a legend, but he went overboard declaring it for himself.

This was one of many quotes where Heenan used himself as the source for a complimentary comment about his work. Heenan had the perfect level of character work that made you laugh while having to dislike him a little for such an egotistical comment.

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9 “His name is Bruce, right? What a stupid name. You have nine months, and you come up with ‘Bruce’?”

The Hart family became the top target of the heel commentary team when Bret Hart became a main eventer. Jerry Lawler had the most memorable digs, but Bobby Heenan had some funnier lines when trying to throw shade at Bret and the rest of his family.

Bruce Hart was one of the less successful Hart brothers that made a few appearances for WWE. Heenan went out of his to make fun of Bruce for his name. Parents Stu and Helen Hart were the ones called out by The Brain for giving Bruce his name.

8 “You had 700,000 votes to get into the Hall of Fame. You'd have had a lot more, but you ran out of stamps.”

Bob Uecker had a legendary career as a sports broadcaster primarily in the MLB as baseball was the sport he played. A few WWE appearances at two WrestleMania shows would see Uecker deliver entertainment interviewing and interacting with wrestlers.

Bobby Heenan tried to have some fun at the expense of his fellow broadcaster. This quote made light of Uecker’s induction into a few different Hall of Fames for his career as Heenan accused him as sending in all the votes himself to cheat the system. Uecker would get inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame as well many years later as part of the celebrity wing.

7 “A friend in need is a pest.”

The one-liners from Bobby Heenan always made him a beloved character even when he was a jerk. Heenan would sneak in little life lessons for those that followed the heel lifestyle. This one came when Heenan tried to express that helping others is overrated.

Heel wrestlers typically try getting to the top at the expense of others. Heenan would state that a friend in need is an annoying problem rather than a situation where you should help them. The belief of Heenan was to only look out for yourself unless someone else was your investment like a wrestler he managed.

6 “The bad thing about the Bushwhackers is that win, lose or draw, you gotta have everything you’ve got on fumigated.”

The humorous tag team work of the Bushwhackers made them a beloved act in WWE. Some of the stranger moments from Butch and Luke would see them lick the heads of the fans and walk to the ring in a comedic motion unlike their peers.

Bobby Heenan had a lot of fun throwing insults towards the Bushwhackers whenever getting the chance to call one of their matches. This one discussed the lack of hygiene from the tag team and how you’ll have to get everything fumigated once wrestling them.

5 "Parts Unknown, it usually means Downtown Newark."

One of the more humorous Easter eggs in wrestling is when certain wrestlers are billed from Parts Unknown. The Ultimate Warrior, Kane and Demolition were just some of the standout talents to have their location announced as Parts Unknown to add mystery to their characters.

Bobby Heenan used this location to deliver a fun joke on commentary. Parts Unknown typically meant the downtown area of Newark, New Jersey according to the words of wisdom from Heenan. The joke was due to Newark having a dangerous reputation.

4 "You listen to me, you'll go to the top! You don't listen to me, you're never heard from again!"

Bobby Heenan was a genius at hyping up his own character. This quote was the perfect example of Heenan trying to prove he was the best manager in the game. There was a track record of heel wrestlers like Ric Flair and Andre the Giant having more success when Heenan was their manager.

Heenan also wanted it known that wrestlers to ignore his words would never find success without him. The comments like this helped establish Heenan’s character when he worked back and forth between managing and providing commentary.

3 "He's not pointing to anybody, he's showing off how high he can count!"

Hulk Hogan was always one of the main targets of Bobby Heenan both as a commentator and manager. The role as the top face in the company would see Hogan beat the heel wrestlers represented by Heenan quite often to cause a rift between the two on-screen.

This quote featured a response to Hogan standing in the ring pointing at the crowd. Heenan mocked the intelligence of Hogan by joking that he was showing how high he can’t. There were many other quotes clowning Hogan, but this was the best.

2 “Now remember this: When a man sticks his hand out to you, you shake it. Then kick him really hard when he’s not looking.”

The cheating ways of Bobby Heenan always wanted to see the heel wrestlers use shady tactics to get an upper hard. Heenan would deliver many of his most comedic lines when suggesting things that heels should do while commentating on their matches.

This quote was a great one for Heenan’s top lesson for all wrestlers and people in general. The Brain wanted all handshakes to be followed up by someone kicking the other person quite hard when they turn their back after gaining trust. Only Heenan could have made this line so memorable.

1 “Cheating is only cheating when you get caught, and bragging isn't bragging when you can do it."

Many legendary wrestlers like Eddie Guerrero, Edge and Roddy Piper perfected the art of cheating. However, Bobby Heenan was the most vocal when it came to placing importance on it. The quote featured here looked at the belief of Heenan.

According to these words, cheating is only cheating is the referee is wise enough to detect it. Heenan also made sure to mention that bragging isn’t a bad thing when you can back up your egotistical words. The commentary greatness of Heenan meant he could get away with anything, including advocating for cheating.

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