Ashley and Jared Reveal Why Criticism of Their 'BiP' Appearance Made Them Feel Like 'Failures' (Exclusive)
Jessica Wilkins Ashley Iaconetti and Jared Haibon's Bachelor in Paradise appearance left them feeling like failures. ET spoke with the Bachelor Nation favorites following their appearance on season 8 of the reality show, and they revealed why criticism of their guest-starring roles was hard to swallow.
"It makes us feel like failures because the show took a chance with us, and we didn't ask for them to, but the fact that they wanted to means the world to us," Jared told ET. "... Honestly, I thought we'd go down there and... it would be quick little scenes and they would show us on the date and it would be fast and quick and, 'Oh, so cute,' and then move on."
That's not what happened, though, as the series opted to showcase Jared and Ashley's romantic date, rather than keep the focus on this year's singles, a decision that has been the basis of much of the criticism online.
"We're quite honored that they thought our footage was good enough to show in its entirety. But also what makes us sad is if you guys don't like the farting jokes and stuff like that, I totally get that. It's not really jokes, it's real life. Like, real life as of, like, 15 minutes ago," Ashley joked. "But we are kind of sad that we heard a lot of people are fast forwarding through our date scene, which actually was very meaningful to us. I think it would be relatable to a lot of people in serious committed relationships."
While the pair is secure in their relationship -- they tied the knot in 2019 and welcomed their son, Dawson, in January -- neither Jared nor Ashley denied that the critiques do sting.
"We kind of explain it like this. So we got an invite to a really cool party that we thought we were not cool enough to be part of anymore. We were like, 'Oh, my God, I'm so honored. Yes, thank you for inviting us,'" Ashley said. "And then we get there and everybody is nice to us there, but then, behind our backs, everybody's like, 'Oh, my God. What are they doing here? They've got to get out.' It's like like, 'Get out, you're not invited. You're not cool enough to be here anymore. You're so old.'"
Mostly, though, Jared said that the chatter "doesn't make us mad, it just makes us sad."
"I want people to enjoy the show and we're so proud and lucky to be a part of the show that when people watch us and feel that it's just boring or they don't like it, that makes us sad because... we want to do whatever we can to help the show," he explained. "To feel like we've hindered it in any way makes us really sad. We don't care if people are angry with our actions. We don't care. People can think whatever they want. We're very secure in who we are as people... But if they're saying they're bored and they don't want to watch this, that makes us feel sad because we don't want that."
For Jared, the whole thing is also confusing, given that the fans of the franchise often wax poetic about how much they love to see love on TV.
"People who say they watch the show because they love love... You're seeing real love and you're seeing love after the show, and what that entails, and what that means, and now in parenthood," he said. "It's very easy to watch a show where people fall in love. It's just tough because a lot of people who are falling in love, who have fallen in love on the show, it's not real love. They break up, like, two months afterwards and then move on."
"So do you like watching love or do you love watching the idea of love? There's nothing wrong with that," Jared continued. "There's nothing wrong with that at all, but I think the show took a chance on us in showcasing, 'This is what love looks like after the show.' Unfortunately, people didn't really like watching it sometimes, and that makes us sad."
According to Ashley, her and Jared's return to Paradise was brought up when the series earned a supersized season with far more episodes than normal.
"They were like, 'What can we do that's interesting and unique? Let's bring a married couple down, see how the love transpires through the years,'" Ashley recalled. "I guess people don't really want to see it, but we thought that was a really cool concept."
Though she was a fan of the idea, Ashley was initially worried about what would go down in Paradise.
"They called me and I was like, 'What do you guys mean? Like, what? Is this going to be a whole bunch of married couples and it's going to be like a sub storyline of married couples? Is there flirtations amongst married couples?'" she said. "I got a little worried. Jared did not."
"I knew they weren't going to try to tear us apart," Jared reasoned. "Why would they want to try and tear apart a Bachelor Nation couple that has a kid? They wouldn't do that. I knew that it could be quite enjoyable if we just went down."
Ultimately, they decided to jump at the opportunity in an effort to "open our doors to our relationship and be truthful about marriage and the lack of alone time and how we need to kind of rekindle the relationship," Jared said.
"[I wanted to] feel sparks again, feel butterflies," Ashley agreed. "Really, I felt butterflies again for the first time in a very long time. When we were on the jet ski [date], I was like, 'Oh my god.'"
It was that kind of change of pace that was able to reinvigorate the couple's romance.
"Whenever we do go on a date, we get dinner. That's kind of our date night, which we love, but we never do an activity and sit down and really talk about what we mean to each other," Jared said. "Of course we tell each other how much we love each other every day, but there's a difference between saying, 'Hey, I love you,' and 'Hey, this is why I love you.' When we were down in Paradise, we really got to just dive into, 'This is the reasons why we're [here] today,' and we talked about Dawson and that was really important for us."
Having those conversations in Paradise, Ashley said, is made easier because of "some secret magic in the air" that's "hard to replicate in real life."
"They are able to give you a space that makes you feel vulnerable, which is why the show does so well. And also why so many cast members look back, I believe, fondly on the show," Jared said. "Because, even though it's stressful and it's exhausting and you can easily complain about it, I feel like so many cast members after they leave the show go back and are like, 'Man, I'd love to go back into that.'"
Season 8 of Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays on ABC. Follow along with ET's coverage of the show to stay up-to-date on all the drama on the beach.
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