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Our research team recently conducted a large survey of sexual behavior in America called the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, in which we asked women and men ages 14 to 94 about their sex lives.

One of the more surprising findings was just how many women experienced pain during sex. About 30% of adult women ages 18 to 59 reported some difficulty with pain the last time they had sex. Although  most of the pain appeared to be mild or fleeting, this is still striking – and it suggests that we can do better as a society.

One thing men can do to help intercourse feel more comfortable and pleasurable for women is to spend more time – about 10 minutes or more – in foreplay. By building her arousal prior to penetration, her vagina will have more time to do something called “tenting” – a process by which muscular tension in a woman’s body lifts the uterus upward, creating more space in the vagina. Arousing foreplay can also help to enhance vaginal lubrication, which can also help to make sex feel more comfortable, pleasurable and satisfying for her.

Debby Herbenick, PhD is a sex researcher and educator, a widely read sex columnist and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. She’s also the Founder & Editor of MySexProfessor.com. Follow her on Twitter@mysexprofessor and make friends with her on Facebook