Okay, Season 16, the League season of Gen 5! Let's kick it off!

We open to Cynthia's summer villa again. Ash and the rest are all still there. Wow, she put them up indefinitely until it was time to head out to the Unova League? What a combination of curiously strong generosity and fabulously obscene wealth.

Anyway, obviously it's time to head out to the Unova League, this season wouldn't have started if it wasn't. What was that big finale battle with Team Rocket for if it finally wasn't time? Pokémon Direct finally announced the location of the Unova League, in Vertress City. You won't find it in any of the games, not yet anyway. But if you really must find it, apparently it's somewhere around Opelucid City, so check around there and you'll be in where Vertress City is supposed to be. But Iris has a special request. Can they pop over to the Village Of Dragons on their way to Vertress? Looks like we're finally gonna get into Iris's story. I mean, more than we have, it's mostly been mentionings of her past here and there, we haven't really heard much on progress with this Dragon Master thing. Anyway, everyone agrees, they'll stop by Dragon Village. Our heroes head out. It's time to wrap this puppy up!

Then the intro. The one with the flying arrows and stuff. I'd heard stuff about this, but seeing as I avoid spoilers and unofficial releases, this is the first I'm actually seeing of any part of it. I liked all the retro Pokémon cameos, it kinda smacked of the original Pokémon intro with the running alongside the Arcanine and stuff.

Mid-hike they stop to have a picnic, as Ash's traveling group is wont to do. Jarvis left them food this time. And the adventure of the week kicks off with Oshawott being a jerk and stealing all of Pignite's Poffin/dog food/little Pokékibbles and stuff. Totally unprovoked too! Oshawott must've suddenly become a jerk or something because it normally takes something to trigger him when he does something like that. I guess Meloetta's departure left him frustrated. And Ash, as usual, does a crap job of mediating his Pokémon. I could see if both or even one of those Pokémon were someone else's and Ash didn't wanna overstep his boundaries, but those are both his Pokémon and all he has to say his "Hey! You... y'all stop it..." He doesn't even once acknowledge the fact that Oshawott is the one who started it and does nothing to correct this behavior. Normally when a Pokémon acts out it's because they won't listen to the Trainer due ot a lack of trust/loyalty. But somehow this struggle disappears in a battle. Probably because he and his Pokémon take those seriously.

Anyway, thanks to Oshawott, Emolga gets Hydro Pumped into the distance, blasting off into a cliff face and is found by three catty chicks in fancy garb: The Flower Troupe... Girls. Moira, Cher, and... uhhh... the one with the Lilligant. At first glance, before they introduced themselves, I thought Cher was a dude. Reminds me of Zoey from Diamond/Pearl, and her not-so-feminine interpretation of elegance. Anyway, the Troupe insults our Twerps, and then peels out in their Flower Troupe Party Wagon. Ash and the gang are none too pleased at what those ladies said to them, but Iris is particularly irate. She pursues, with Ash and Cilan in tow. They learn who this Flower Troupe is, and where their headquarters is. A special building where no boys are allowed.

Seasoned vets of the show know that this is the part where Ash dresses like a girl again.

And those vets would be right to believe in that! Because Iris hatches a plan to infiltrate the Team Flower base. Ash, once again, becomes Ashley! And Cilan dresses up too so he can get in. Let's do a count, has Cilan crossdressed more than Ash this Gen, or not? And Pikachu dressed up too, it is true that lady Pikachus have heart-shaped tails. I don't remember the last time Pikachu altered his tail to look like a girl. Cilan jumps straight into character, adopting a high pitched falsetto. Ash is reluctant to do a voice at first. Listen to Cilan's range! Who says Griffith can't emote?!! They never shoulda fired him as Sonic!!! And maybe it's just my contrary perception, but despite Ash being voiced by a woman, he sounds exactly like a boy trying poorly to emulate a girl's voice, which is the intention, I think. Might be because I'm looking at Ash's face as he says these things.

Our heroes introduce their Pokémon, although didn't the Flower Troupe see these exact Pokémon just an hour ago? They're not suspicious? Then again with so many Trainers in the world looking identical and having similar Pokémon types, it's probably understandable. How many fat Hikers have you met that train Geodudes? Probably a million. Anyway the Troupe suggests that our heroes tack on "ette" to the ends of their Pokémon's names because that's prettier sounding. At first I thought they just meant that Ash should call Pikachu "Pikachu-ette". But soon it spread.

Iris asks to watch and learn from the Troupe, and they get invited in to a studio session. The Pokémon all mix and mingle and they decide to train/battle together, as people with Pokémon often do. First test of Flower Troupe elegance, the High Beam walk. The visiting Pokémon try it out and pull it off with aplomb. Ash laments his situation and says that he can't look himself in the mirror like this. Then Cilan says Ash never looks in the mirror?

Never? Never looks in the mirror? I coulda swore he looked in a mirror at least a couple times in this Gen, can we do a re-check? He must've looked at the Reveal Glass in the last few episodes, right?

Ash finally speaks in falsetto and addresses Snivy and Emolga on the beam at Snivy-ette and Emolga-ette. At this point I was like "Wait, Ash has to address ALL of his Pokémon with the 'ette' suffix?" Then after the commercial break, we came back to find that the Flower Troupe was now also using "ette" to address THEIR Pokémon. They weren't before. So now all of a sudden everyone's saying "ette".

The Flower Troupe decides to raise the stakes by opening a mud pit under the high beam, and they decide that a High Beam Battle will be held. Two Pokémon walk on it and battle, trying to knock the other off whilst maintaining their balance. The loser falls and is covered in mud like rocks in some mud which is very unpretty and not graceful or anything. Cilan and Pansage don't do so hot. Ash and Snivy, as well as Iris and Emolga, win their battles. But when Moira's Cinccino is knocked into the mud, she uses her body's natural oils to slough it off. As long as she makes those oils, she cannot be dirtied. For some reason this really angers Iris.

But the mud fighting isn't over yet! Now they're gonna have regular ol' knock-down & drag-out Pokémon battles! With one twist. The arena is surrounded by mud and the losing Pokémon not only gets thrown into the mud, but the Trainer must also subject herself to the soiling of the mud.

Yeesh, the combination of a mean girls' club and haze-like mud humiliation makes this seem almost like some kind of fetish dungeon. In all the uncomfortable ways. Also, with their focus on beauty and pageantry, I really thought the Flower Troupe would be coordinators, not regular battlers.

Iris battles Cher and her Roserade. It's pretty touch and go, and Emolga almost falls into the mud. But then Emolga, as Emolgas can be found doing in the brush, glides through the air. Emolgas can fly, didn't they know? Moira is very upset at this, at how Emolga did NOT get covered in mud. Iris lashes out at Moira saying that it's sweet justice for Cinccino's body oil. Iris seems to be REALLY upset at this mud, and at Cinccino being clean. What's wrong with Cinccino having body cleansing oil? Iris and Emolga beat Cher and her Roserade. Cilan and Pansage, once again, do really poorly. Pansage uses Dig and gets covered in mud before the match is even over. Cilan and Pansage are knocked into the mud. Now it's time for Ash and Snivy to face Moira and her Cinccino. But then Iris steps in and says "Let me battle with Snivy".

Hold the phone, Dora. You HAD your battle! We're gonna get to your story, we're already headed to the Dragon Village, how much thunder must you steal?!! And it would be one thing to ask to battle again with your own Pokémon, but you're asking to borrow Ash's Pokémon, who you didn't train or anything! Like you've known it all Gen long or something! You can't just take someone's Pokémon and expect to be battle-compatible with it!

But Ash, who doesn't give a crap about this Flower Girl stuff anyway, says fine, go ahead, use Snivy. There's a reason she picked Snivy though. So she could buffet Cinccino with Leaf Storm. Then, Iris has Snivy knock Cinccino and Moira into the soup. But lo, Cinccino can't shake the mud off of her! What gives? That was what Leaf Storm was for. Snivy blotted off all the oil and then knocked Cinccino into the mud before she could make more. Moira asks if that's scientifically possible. Leaves can absorb oil, right? What Type is Oil-Type?

Iris laughs in the face of the ones who berated her and her Pokémon, and then the boss/teacher or something, Ms. Chandler, walks in and says that our girls did very well battling the Flower Troupe. They ask if Ash and the gang will stay and join the opera theatre. But Ashley has had her episode, it's time to get out of here.

Y'know, with Iris's point proven, Ash should've just said "I'm a boy lolz" if he wanted to get out of being headhunted. Anyway, our heroes give back the rented dresses and get a return on their deposits. Not Cilan, I'm assuming, his was thoroughly ruined. Ash suggests that Cilan should've kept the dress, for it was really his style. Which is not far off, if I remember correctly Cilan's done a considerable amount of crossdressing in Black/White. If that's what Ash was implying.