The pair first met at a Congressional Black Caucus dinner in 1992, and, according to Tonya, Spike pursued her quite aggressively at first. "We walked past each other," she told Essence in 2011. "Spike circled back around and proceeded to give me the third degree. 'Are you an actress? A model? A singer? Who are you here with? What do you do? Do you have a boyfriend?'"

Upon meeting Spike, Tonya, who was working as a lawyer in Washington, D.C., at the time, was immediately intrigued by his creativity and the Bohemian lifestyle he led. Though she had always wanted to be involved in the film industry, it was eventually her union with Spike that pushed Tonya to pursue more creative interests. The couple was married only a year later, in 1993, and one year after that, gave birth to their first child, Satchel (via Amo Mama).